The last supper
You have finally spoken
You let me heart broken...
Said its over I don't love you no more...
The pain is too much aint walkin that lane anymore,
But tell me where did I go wrong?
This pain I cant endure any long...
Tell me how do I save my life...
Im in sadness, dont want any more strife...
Begging on my knees...
Asking you for one last dinner...
Whats there for you to lose?
How much more can i let you bruise?
I know I am no one to make you wait
If you have someone else, I still debate...
Yet we talk, you still care...
Just unable to erase those memories we share....
Let us meet for a final goodbye
Keep an open mind babes, Give it one last try
Mistakes are what we learn from
But I will never learn to say goodbye!
posted by Madhusudan at
4:26 AM
5 Comments:
oh my, that last line is immense!
There is much emotion in this and I feel a certain familiar ache that I"m positive
MANY have also been akin to. Sad and forlorn, but damn, what exhilaration in
having been, you know?
I think the heart is impossible sometimes ... holding on to every last shread
in hopes that the inevitable won't befall it. *sigh*
Breezy
At least you can say I have been loved. If for only a short time it was for real. Think how many cannot say that and you will smile and move on to the next adventure. Perhaps the real big one in your life. Greetings from bern
This is a very sad poem. I know how that can be.
keep writing and i will read.
very good job.
Hi there! Just read your piece and found it tremendously emotional.
You write about feeling so very well, but I have one tiny little
suggestion to make. (I hate it when poets correct or offer
advice in comments ... it just doesn't sit well with me). I just
feel it's more proper to PM them with it personally. Plastering
a suggestion or correction on the poem itself, is self-serving,
at best.
Anyway , all I wanted to say is just to watch out for double
negatives that actually make your thought positive ... as in,
"don't want no more strife". It should read "I want no
more strife" or "don't want any more strife"
the way it's written says that you actually invite strife into your life.
I'm sure that's not what you meant.
Just my two cents. Take it or not. It's just, if you want the reader
to take your poetry seriously, it's best to be grammatically correct, yes?
Have a great day!
You write really well ...try a happy blog for a change:-)
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